Just burst into tears with the realisation that I have survived horrible bullying from ridiculous management and come out the other side.
Since September I have learnt to never let anyone make me doubt myself or my ability to do the thing I love most in the world. And I can’t believe that I nearly gave all of the hard work up because such a nasty person made me feel like I wasn’t worth it.
Some people are so terrified of people who shine brighter than them that they feel the need to dampen their light.
I am so happy and relieved and thankful that I have made it through.
Over the past couple of weeks my life had been dominated by finding a flat to move into with my boyfriend.
Not only has it made it extremely apparent to me just how saturated the renting market is in London (5 couples competing to outbid each other for 400 square foot that costs 900 pounds per month to live in minus bills), I’m now very aware of just how ready I am for this change to happen.
After a tough year ( and yes, I will stop going on about it) that nearly accumulated in a mental breakdown around May time, I am ready to put it behind me. After months of not looking after myself mentally and physically I am ready to get back on track.
Starting with the arrival of my Protein World meal replacement shakes tomorrow……
But more on that later.
I’ve had a tough year.
Probably the toughest year of my life (though like why because teachers get like 12 weeks off a year and are basically just glorified babysitters for 6 hours a day).
And I have become pretty disillusioned with this teaching stuff. Already. And I’ve been teaching for 10 months.
Quite often I have had to sit and remind myself why I chose to do this in the first place, and why I will continue to do it for years to come.
A parents evening appointment today will give me the reminder I need for the rest of my career.
A little girl in my classes life changed at the age of 5 over night when he mum tried to kill her brother and she was taken away to live with her dad. Her world was turned upside down. She wasn’t allowed to see her mum and had to suddenly live with her dad and two older brothers. She cried constantly at school, her progress halted completely and she stopped talking.
After that, I built a relationship and bond with her that I will never forget. She now runs into school every day and gives me the hugest hug. She has made excellent progress again in all areas of the core curriculum. She told her social worker that school makes her happy because she gets to have a cuddle from me every day.
In my last meeting with her dad tonight he told me that without the emotional support I have given her, he doesn’t know what would have happened to her.
Now, if that’s not job satisfaction, I don’t know what is.
I’m pretty proud of me, you know. And I will miss her with my whole heart.